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This is Cuthbert Campaign Session 1. Module T1.

Our story began with the brothers, themselves: Armand and MinMaximus the Gallant. They were collectively known within the Church of St. Cuthbert as “the Flower of Nobility.” Many hopes were pinned on the young prospects, and they were given the responsibility of protecting the new church in rural village of Hommlet. The brothers were to travel to Hommlet immediately, but they wouldn’t have to travel alone. The Church sent a brave, though humble and plump, young priest by the name Hugh Manzfield the Novice to accompany the brothers, intended to serve as a spiritual guide to the young knights. To reenforce the strong arm of Cuthbert, certain vulgar mercenaries were provided as well: Finger McThicker, a Bravo from Dyvers, and Adrianus Theodorus Willowbark III, a crafty elf known as the Prestidigitator. Further, a strange young stable hand, a foreigner by the name of Hochi Mang, insisted on joining the party, alluding to strange Oriental powers that he possessed.

The path to Hommlet was treacherous, and known to be populated by brigands of various sorts. The Church was specifically concerned with slave raiders and traders in the region north of the Pomarj. The concern was appropriate, as the party was ambushed by such a group on the road south to Hommlet. A net trap was sprung, capturing the whole of the party. The slavers grinned at their catch: these ones will fetch Arena prices. The excitement is short lived, however, as Hommlet militia-men were spotted by the slaver scouts. The party was made subject to a quick plundering of any conspicuous wealth, and abandoned by the retreating Slavers. The slavers lost one man in the scuffle; when the thug reached for the little stable boy, the boy punched his short sword through the brute’s abdomen. Militiamen escorted the group to the outskirts of Hommlet.

The priest and the brothers could not in good conscience leave a man’s body to rot in a forest, so they brought the corpse of the slaver with them, into Hommlet. The group, eager to rid themselves of this burden, proceeded immediately to the new Church of St. Cuthbert in the north of town. The local priests were reluctant to allow unconfirmed bandits in their consecrated graveyard, and suggested the body be taken to a small island on the pond to the East. Once there, they were instructed to perform a purifying Hammer Burial.*

Hammer burials are hard work, and the party was eager to relax at the nearest inn. They were delayed, however, by drunken boasts of a sot named Elmo. The noble party brushed aside this human louse, and continued to the Inn of the Welcome Wench. A quick questioning of the locals revealed that the ruins of the moathouse to the east were once again crawling with evil.** It was decided on the spot that cleansing this evil would their first action as protectors of the Church of St. Cuthbert, Hommlet. After a night of moderate food and drink, the party, excluding Hochi Mang, retired to the most expensive rooms in the Inn. The stable boy had negotiated a place to stay, the barn was his while he “Work half food!” in the fields of Elmo’s father.*** The party posted vigilant guards throughout the night, a shooed patrons of dubious morals away from their doors.

Bright and early, the party marched eastward, chests puffed and heads high. After a short surveillance of the moathouse, the team carefully, if not covertly, attempted to cross the rotting drawbridge. Their passage was interrupted by a group of very large bullfrogs. The frogs surprised the party (There aren’t any frogs THIS BIG in Verbobonc!), and were quickly able to swallow whole Armand and Finger. The frogs attempted to scatter with their prey, but the remaining members put the blade to them, and rescued their imperiled companions.

Unknown to the party, this battle has been observed, and their presence has been communicated to an unknown party…

End Cuthbert Campaign Session One. Module T1.

* Drunken DM Improv: A hammer burial is performed by bludgeoning a corpse into paste. It follows the sayings of St. Cuthbert: “Enlightment can penetrate even the helm of iron.” “Evil which cannot be removed must be eliminated.” “Foolishness can be beaten.”

** Drunken DM Improv: I gave that up way too easy. I felt cheap and used after that dreadful RP.

*** Drunken DM Improv: Why is the farmer Elmo’s dad? Because I panicked when I couldn’t think of anything interesting to say about the farmer. It doesn’t make any sense for him to be the father. Elmo lives on another farm… right next door…